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Apple’s Robot Repairmen

To my joy and astonishment, my firewire ports have started working again after they stopped working from what I guess was a power surge.

I rebooted the eMac again the other day after installing a system update, and I happened to notice that my iPod said “do not disconnect” which means that it’s mounted to the desktop. So I moved some windows out of the way, and sure enough, there was my iPod! I plugged in Cyclops, my firewire hard drive, and it came up as well, good as new.

My only explanation for this phenomenon is that there is a very small robot living inside of my eMac. This robot’s primary job is as a hunter. A hunter of dust bunnies. He patrols the insides of my computer looking for dust bunnies, and occasionally a herd of dust bunnies. Then he gets out his bunny hunting gun, and blows their damn heads off. The robot then takes their carcasses to the dust bunny disposal hole in the back of the computer, and ejects them from the premises.

Occasionally however, the robot has another duty. He is also a trained Apple Certified Repair Technician. So when my firewire ports died, and he had a break from killing dust bunnies, he floated over (yes he can float) to the firewire ports on the side of the computer and cleaned them, re-soldered some wires, checked the circuit-board, etc. After a few hours he had it all fixed up and notified me that his work was complete by popping up a window on my screen saying I needed to install the latest Airport software. He even notified me that I would have to reboot when the installation finished, because he knew that’s when I would notice that he had fixed my firewire ports.

I really don’t understand why Apple doesn’t make this robot repairman known to more people. It seems to me that it could be a really great feature to market and encourage Windows users to switch to the Mac. I mean it would all but eliminate the need for a dedicated IT staff and/or outsourced computer repairmen.

So if you’re in the market for a new computer, consider the Mac with its robot repairmen. Computers will invariably break down over time, whether it is a Mac or PC. The difference of course is that the Macs now come with their own internal IT staff to keep everything running for you.

I’m not sure if the robot repairmen come in every model of the Macintosh. I imagine there are different models of robots in each model of Mac though. For instance the robots for the Powerbooks and iBooks are very very small. They don’t float either, they crawl because there isn’t a lot of airspace in the innards of an Apple Laptop. An easy way to check to see if you have the robot repairman is to feel the left palm-rest of your Powerbook. If it is warm, you have a robot repairman. That is his living room where he spends most of his time.

The G5 also comes with a robot repairman, but because the G5 enclosure is so large, the robot is much larger. And because the robot is larger, he makes more noise, which is the reason for some of the loudness problems reported by a few G5 owners. He also creates a lot of heat by keeping himself floating inside the case, which is why the G5 requires so many fans. One for each room in the Robot’s “house”.

So before you file class-action lawsuits and go around complaining about the heat or noise of your Apple computer, consider what you would be giving up if you eliminated that noise or heat. If you think about it for a minute, I’m sure you will find that the small inconveniences are well worth the benefits.

hahahahahahahahahaha…you’ve made me laugh…thanx! :)